Happy New Year?

 It's New Years Eve 2025, the "eve" of 2026. 

Identifying as an "oberservant Orthodox Jew", admittedly, the secular New Year historically has meant nothing to me. The Jewish New Year, happens in September/October time with Rosh Hashana (yes, the big one everyone knows about) and thus, the secular new year in January never felt authentically like the NEW YEAR. Outside of remembering to change the date on any forms, it never meant more than that. 

Today, however,  I am choosing differently. While theoretically nothing will change in HOW I celebrate, my mental state and outlook of this new year coming in, is different. I feel it in every way.

These past few years have not been kind to me, professionally, in every sense of the word. I've taken massive pay cuts and light workloads in roles I never would have found to be even remotely attractive prior to my getting sick. I took them out of necessity, thinking I need to start again somewhere! I've considered pivoting my career track in hopes to find more stability, but I love what I do, so I stick with what I know trying to find creative ways to sustain myself mentally, and my family, financially.

It was recently reminded to me by my team of Doctors that I am 4.5 years post transplant. This statistic knocked me off my feet. When I was diagnosed, I was told it's a 5 year process with the Oncology team to get me stable - until I can officially "graduate" from their care. Back then, 5 years was a lifetime. I remember thinking 5 years?? NO WAY I WILL STILL BE DOING THIS IN 5 YEARS!

But here I am, 2 seasons away from my 5th "re-birthday". What will it bring? What will my new chapter look like personally and professionally? These and about a million other questions are what has been swirling through my head as of late.

I've been told for the longest time that "God has a plan, dont worry too much" and I used to repeat it, almost empty heartedly like a robot, because it was the "right thing to think" according to my mind and others wanted me so badly to feel comfort to those words even though I didnt fully believe it at the time. However, so many things have happened since, I have been actively trying to live with EYES WIDE OPEN instead of trying to shut my eyes to the open Miracles being performed for me and my family over the course of these difficult years.

In a recent therapy session, I admitted to myself out loud how even though things are FAR from perfect, and I still need help, I actually believe God has that plan. What is it? When will this pain end? Only one entity knows (He's not a person....), but I have trust and belief that the plan WILL BE for good.

SO, what does all this mean for the end of 2025 for me? It means tonight I will sit around the table with some friends, maybe enjoying some wine, maybe enjoying some food, mostly enjoying the company of good friends and the ability to be OUT and not sick in a bed, for which I am eternally grateful.

I enter 2026 knowing with ALL MY HEART that God has the most wonderful plan in store for me and He didn't bring me this far, just to come this far. There's more and this is not the end of my story. I look at my wife and kids and am in awe of their strength and resilience as they stand by my side through it all. 

So to THAT, I hope to raise a glass and wish everyone a Happy New Year tonight, WHATEVER THAT MEANS TO YOU! Not everyone will mean the same thing when they say it, but I know when I say it, what I will be thinking about and how, despite how frustratingly this year has ended for me, I can look back at all the blessings bestowed upon me this past year. 

I'm hopeful the next opportunity is an email or two away and understand fully that if it is not, thats OK too as it's all part of His plan!

Happy New Year to everyone - do yourself a favor and dig deep to look for the good in this past year and the good potentially upcoming in 2026. It's easy to find the bad (for me, anyway), it sticks out like a sore thumb and hurts more than simply "thinking positively", but find your inner soul and search for that which you can be thankful for. I get angry quite often, multiple times a day sometimes, at myself, at others and at my situation - but I've truly found peace in realizing and ACTUALLY BELIEVING that "God has a plan, just keep doing what you're doing".

Until next time....